


A Bad Day For Edward

by Byakko Ta (BadDragon)



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: Crack, Gen, Mild Language, Pseudo-Serious, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-06-29
Updated: 2006-06-29
Packaged: 2017-11-10 23:38:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/471999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadDragon/pseuds/Byakko%20Ta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I thought I heard Niisan for a second." Al said in a bewildered voice, then shrugged and was about to retreat back into the apartment when Mustang finally spoke, brought out of his surprise.<br/>"You did, actually," He started, and a shouted curse of "Bastard Colonelllll!" punctuated this, "But you just missed him... He's ... headed to the ground right now."</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Bad Day For Edward

**Author's Note:**

> I published this in 2006... What can I say?

 

· ·  
 _It has to be exact..._

I can't _make_ **any** _mistakes..._

 

Nothing _can go wrong...  
_

Painstakingly, the last touches of the transmutation circle were carefully completed. Tongue between his teeth, Edward Elric attentively made the last swirl to the inside of one of the shapes. He sat up from his half-crouch over the chalk lines, wary of smudging the transmutation circle that had taken hours to create and meticulously draw. He had locked himself in the largest room in the abandoned house he had "borrowed." His brother only knew that he was still researching a transmutation circle at the moment.

And it would _stay_ that way until _everything_ was perfect. He would not be taking _any_ chances this time. Wiping sweat from his brow, he stood and made his way over to the bench table where a musty-looking, yellow-paged book was being propped open to a page in the middle. Carefully re-reading the instructions, Ed nodded once.

"Everything is done." He said out loud. His voice echoed around the bare room. He grabbed his trademark red coat, having taken it off earlier to not smudge the chalk. He pulled it on and rubbed his eyes tiredly. But he was not going to rest yet. More things were still needed. He had to get the ingredients and his brother.

He hurried up the stairs, careful not to stomp, considering the stairs were pretty weak. He would have to fix that before his brother came or he would get hurt. He hurried out of the house and then started making his way back to the more urban area of the city. On his way to the officer's barracks at Central Headquarters, he stopped at a couple of shops, picking up a variety of materials. Though the circle would be using mostly _his_ energy, to make up for the power needed to _create_ something as complex as a human body, he would still need ingredients to do so.

He also had to pick up a package from the bank. He had a safety deposit box that had the two most crucial ingredients for the transmutation to work...

When he finally made it to the barracks where they were, for the moment stationed at, he hurried up a flight of stairs to the door to their rooms. Unluckily, their rooms were at the top level. Inside his head, he was prepping himself to continue with what he had planned. It wasn't really working.

I don't want to lose him. What if I mess up? What if its all wrong, and I can't bring him back if I mess up?

-was running through his mind as his biggest fears began to spring up in his mind.

He was about to unlock his door when, by sheer coincidence, the door opened and banged right into his frowning face, the doorknob bashing into his throat, because it was so "high up." Instantly, the worrying thoughts of before were erased completely from his mind when, but who should be coming out of the door, but the Flame Alchemist, the all-around Colonel Bastard. Gulping air and holding his head, Ed stumbled backwards as his head reeled in pain. The Flame's surprised look morphed into a smirk that just dripped with an I-know-I'm-sexy-and-this- _was_ -on-purpose-because-I'm-an asshole air.

Glaring angrily up (mentally Ed was snarling at himself for needing to raise his eyes to see _any_ persons face, particularly the _Bastard_ Colonel's face) at him, he stumbled back a step further to get additional space from the ass when, by utter bad luck, Ed's boot slipped from the edge of the stairwell he had just climbed up.

A quick alarmed look flashed on Mustang's face while Ed flailed his arms for balance. A shared looked or astonishment and a loud, gasped shout of surprise began Edward's quick and fast descent towards the first level apartments. His yelps and curses floated up to the startled Flame Alchemist.

Alphonse came out a second later and looked around in confusion.

"I thought I heard Nii-san for a second." Al said in a bewildered voice, then shrugged and was about to retreat back into the apartment when Mustang finally spoke, brought out of his surprise.

"You did, actually," He started, and a shouted curse of " _Bastard Colonelllll!_ " punctuated this, "But you just missed him... He's ... headed to the ground right now."

 

When Edward next woke up, it was to find himself in a hospital bed, looking at the whitewashed ceiling of a sterile-smelling hospital room. Groaning as he moved his bruised body to sit up, he realized he was alone. Usually his brother would be there, telling him not to try sitting up or generally being a mother hen. But this time, he found, his brother wasn't there, and the window was open to let in the sunshine and happily whistling birds--basically a racket.

Glaring at the window, he pushed himself out of the bed, stumbling a little when he put weight on his legs. He held out his metal arm, checking for damage and winced at seeing two or three _noticeable_ dents in the metal. Winry, the next time she saw him, was going to kill him for banging up her latest 'work of art.' He searched the nightstand drawer, hoping to find at least some pants to pull on, but he was out of luck.

"Guess I'll just _prance_ around in my boxers." He grumbled irritably. Moving toward the door stiffly, he twitched before grabbing the door to open it, but it, yet again, opened by itself--meeting its wooden edge with his left elbow...

It made a pretty loud _crack_.

His hollers and his brothers apologies could be heard two floors down in the large hospital of Central.

 

A fractured elbow and a cast later, Edward was once again on his bed, propped up and glaring at his brother. But that didn't last for long when the reasons he had been looking for his brother came back to mind.

"Al! Al, I need you to do something for me.. I'm, uh--" here, Edward paused, trying to find a way to ask Al something, but not to bring up suspicions of his activities. "I'm doing an... experiment, and need you to go to Central Bank to get a few ingredients I put there... Since I can't do it yet, I need you to get them and then help me go to the place I plan to... test the experiment." He looked hopefully up at Al, who nosily shifted from foot to foot before speaking in that echoing voice.

"Sure, 'nii-san. I'll do that. What kind of experiment is it? Something the State wishes you to do? I'm glad you're spending time doing something else than worrying on the you-know-what." Although you couldn't see it, Al seemed to smile at Ed in relief after saying that.

He told his brother to rest and left, after apologizing again for injuring him. He didn't notice that when he had agreed, Ed had seemed to shift his eyes away and grow almost... distressed.

 

_This is for Al, nothing more... He deserves to have a normal life. And I'll give him one. Even if I have to go to the edge of Hell and back to get his body. He never deserved this, and I'll_ **fix** _it._ Edward thought to himself.

Looking pensively out the window, waiting for Al's return, he was composing himself for his actions of the night ahead. He was so deeply in his thoughts, he did not notice the person in uniform standing behind him until the person spoke.

"Well, at least I know you're better, Fullmetal. I was _worried_ I'd have a more vertically challenged Alchemist with the fall you took. My fears were unfounded, I see. You're just as... _small_ as you usually are, if a centimetre or two shorter, if that possible..." He finished. His comments were met with fiery golden eyes.

With a battle cry, the rabid-looking boy sprang at the frozen in place colonel.

Since this was a military hospital, there were guards around on every floor, for protection.

Guards standing at the end of the hall heard the hollering, curses, and shouts even with the door to the hospital room closed. Thinking it was a person being attacked by an enemy (though they weren't _too far_ off their mark), the guards rushed to the door, firearms bared and ready. One captain opened the door, while other guards took aim inside the room, where the freed shouts and voices could be heard.

What they saw was a young man, clad only in his boxers, and an amused Flame Alchemist wrestling with each other, the golden haired boy underneath the larger man, the Flame Alchemist was bent over the younger man, a predatory smirk on his face while he kept the auto mailed arm from punching him in the nose and an auto mailed leg from kneeing him in his most precious place.

Hurriedly, they shut the door.

No one else answered the shouts and yells emitting from the shut door after that.

Edward Elric was not happy. The bastard was stronger than him, and had easily trapped him underneath him. Despite his wiggling and attempts to injure the man, it did no good. He (nor Mustang, by the way) had noticed the door opening earlier, but they noticed when Al hurried into the room, carrying what he had been sent to get. Of course, his innocent mind took in the two in their positions, and he automatically took it the wrong way...

"'Nii-san! Colonel, sir! You're finally becoming friends? This is great! I'm so relieved!" He said loudly. The door was still opened, and Al didn't notice three guards stick their heads in, worried looks on their face at the innocent-sounding voice saying what it had when walking in on what _they_ had seen.

The picture was worse. Edward's wriggling, despite his injuries, had slid his boxers down scandalously low on his hips, and his trying to hit _anywhere_ on Mustang had made Mustang's clothes become dishevelled and a button, or two, or three had gone missing from his displayed white undershirt, his jacket having been left unbuttoned even before coming to the hospital.

All and all, this didn't paint an "innocent" picture. And it was about to get worse. Both Alchemists, after the roughing around, were panting, Mustang's head drooping a little closer to Ed's face.

This was what Winry, who had been to the Elric's dorms for a surprise visit and told Ed was in the hospital again, burst in on as she had finally gotten to the floor-level of the hospital Ed was in and had noticed guards standing around an opened door.

Needless to say, Mustang and Ed both got hit in the heads with wrenches, for being indecent in front of public, and Ed twice, for forever scarring his younger brother, who didn't understand why everyone was acting the way they were. Mustang and Edward had, obviously, been very embarrassed when finally understanding why everyone was shooting them _funny_ looks.

Needless to say, Ed never got to complete his plan that day. Al had gotten the wrong thing from the safety deposit book. It turned out to be a picture album of him and Al when they were still young, with _many_ embarrassing pictures, particularly of Ed, in the album.

Ed had forgotten about putting it there.

Of course, _Mustang_ was put in a hospital bed for his _grievous_ injury to his head from one metal wrench. In fact, the bed was right next to a, seemingly, forever stuck being red-faced Edward Elric.

Mustang and everyone else (being Al and Winry, with the sulking and red-faced Ed hiding under a blanket) got to look at the album, Mustang making 'aww'-ing noises at the baby-faced children, saying remarks about them, particularly about a younger Fullmetal Alchemist.

Ed was sure he had died from the fall and was in Hell when they had turned a page and found a bare-naked Edward Elric running away from a young woman, obviously his mother, who was waving a cloth diaper in the her hands while chasing him, obviously trying to put it on the toddler.

THE END


End file.
